Impatience

It has been difficult sometimes, all the waiting. Here we are, in the middle of Africa, with no job, no home, and no idea about whether we will ever find the lodge we want to buy and be able to change our lives. Yet I am having a brilliant time. I had no idea it was possible to be so unstressed and so impatient at the same time. And here, of course, impatience is an illegitimate emotion. Not allowed.

It has been such a steep learning curve, both learning how things work and how to adapt to the culture here, the pace of life. The latter has probably been, still is, the most difficult - and also the most healthy.

Every now and then I still want to strangle somebody because they’re so bloody inefficient. And then, when my blood has stopped boiling, I realize how bloody inefficient my tantrums are, especially here where they seem to have no effect on people whatsoever, other than producing a certain amount of tutting.

There are no estate agents, no ‘for sale’ signs, lots of good and bad advice from other lodge owners. Now we just ring people up and ask ‘do you want to sell?’ and then it’s the waiting game. Waiting waiting waiting, full of uncertainty, not daring to hope, not being able to stop dreaming.

I think I have planned every little detail of our lodge by now, from the type of carrots in the kitchen garden, to the flavour of the muffins on the breakfast table, all we still need is an actual lodge. I'm getting better at controlling my lack of patience. But I do hope we will find somewhere soon!